The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2013 annual report for this blog.
Here’s an excerpt:
The concert hall at the Sydney Opera House holds 2,700 people. This blog was viewed about 18,000 times in 2013. If it were a concert at Sydney Opera House, it would take about 7 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.
🎶 I got my first real six string,
Bought it at the charity shop,
Played it till my fingers stung a little,
It was the winter of twenty fourteen! 🎵
So the Resolution to learn how to play the guitar is well and truly underway. I bought the book for beginners a couple of days ago and my hunt for my first guitar was on. I had even downloaded an iPhone tuning app.
I had scoured EBay and Gumtree. There had been quite a few leads. But it looked like I was going to have to be paying upwards of £25 for one…and let’s face it, I might hate it after ten minutes and it would be wasted money.
I had been given tonnes of advice about the type of strings I needed and how high the action needed to be (the distance from the string to the frets) but I’ll tell you the truth…I’m not looking to become a superstar overnight so I am pretty certain that a bog-standard learner guitar is going to do the trick.
And that’s when we heard that St Gemma’s Hospice in Morley had one. Emma one of our friends works there and apparently she’d sold one there yesterday for £35 but they had brought it back because of a “missing fret”. I said I would have it as it could possibly still work. I was told that just to get rid of it I could have it for a fiver.
So we went to pick it up this morning. The guitar was lovely. The only damage it has was one fret had the wood slightly raised from the arm but it was easily fixable. I paid my £5 and headed to Morley market for some SuperGlue (you can officially get anything in Morley Market).
When I got home I stuck a little bit of superglue on the bit that was coming away and it worked perfectly!
So now…to playing it…
Naturally I started with the book I had bought and I started off with just getting used to which string was which and the Tabular images were helping massively. And you know something…I soon picked it up.
It was only single string picking to start with, but I was soon playing “Mary Had A Little Lamb” and “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star”. It felt really good!
I put it down for a bit because Elle had finished with her batch cooking and we watched a few episodes of Sons Of Anarchy before I watched an online stream of the Leeds game where we were playing shocking and lost to Rochdale 2-0 in a shock result in the FA Cup third round.
After an amazing Chicken Rogan Josh that Elle cooked for tea, I started attempting Chords…and this is where most of my work in the coming weeks is going to be…getting my fingers in the right place just doesn’t seem natural but it will come with practice.
So my first day with my new guitar and I am loving it and I think it’s definitely something I could get into. I am definitely going to be sticking with it.
Won’t be long before I am performing…watch this space!
It wouldn’t be the start of the new year without the return of Big Brother, and more importantly the celebrity version of it.
What can we expect this year? Initial reaction to who will be going in comes down to various categories :
So…who’s rumoured to be going in? The main names that are being thrown around are Katie Price, Katie Hopkins and Michael LeVell.
Personally, I can’t see Katie Price doing it, so she’ll be a massive outsider for me. Katie Hopkins however is a different story. The former Apprentice “star” has had a right old year with ding-dongs on This Morning about everything from children’s names to celebrating childrens’ birthdays. She’ll be instantly disliked…but could be a contender to win. Michael Lavelle could be another very good shout. He needs to get back a decent image of himself following the trail he was involved in.
So…here we go with the OFFICIAL lineup and my comments as it happens :
The house : Russian Opulence is the theme….not much else can be really said about it. It’s elegant. In the bedroom, there’s all Double beds, except two….interesting.
Here we go :
Housemate #1 – Jim Davidson – He’s in there to pick up his career again following the recent news of him being dragged into the Operation Yewtree TV presenter news shenanigans, but subsequently being let off as no-one had anything on him. He was meant to be in here last year but due to the investigation he couldn’t do it…but here he is now. Could be quite funny in there. Says he can live with anyone. He falls into a couple of my categories from above too.
Break time…and Jim hasn’t gone in yet…I heard a rumour that they were going to be tying the celebs to each other…which ties into the double bed things too…who will Jim to tied to then…? And who will be the first to complain about “Human rights” being violated? I am guessing whoever the token American is this year…
Housemate #2 – Linda Nolan – Says she doesn’t like Celebs who have just got famous for stripping off and says she hates male chauvinist pigs and once had Jim Davidson thrown out of a club…hehe. She has a good chance of winning.
Linda, meet Jim. Linda you’re handcuffed to Jim. In you go! Got a funny feeling they might get along.
Then they both get called to the diary room. They are given power to Unshackle a pair of housemates once everyone is in. Interesting.
Housemate #3 – Dappy from N-Dubz – He’s in here to show the public that he’s not as bad as he’s been portrayed in the press. Not sure which way he could go in there. My mate Yvonne text to say that she hopes Simon Amstell should be handcuffed to him…they have history! He says he wants to go in and be himself.
Housemate #4 – Liz Jones – a fashion writer for the Daily Mail…haha…going to clash massively with Dappy…this pairing could be a contender for getting split up by Jim & Linda. Dappy will be used to handcuffs…she’s going to clearly hate being handcuffed to him!
Housemate #5 – Sam Faiers – token TOWIE person as predicted above! Well known for her spats with Joey Essex…but Joey is LOVED by the public now so that may go against her a little. She’s made a point of being single.
Housemate #6 – Jasmine Waltz – she’s apparently famous for shagging David Arquette…….joy! Potentially annoying, potentially good fun. Could go either way. Would have been the one ready to bail out after being handcuffed…but no, they’ve stuck the two glamorous ones together to stop any of that awkwardness.
Housemate #7 – Lee Ryan from Blue – He’ll never be anyone else. He comes across as a bit of a bellend….and I expect that he’ll go no way towards disproving my theory. As long as he doesn’t do his massively high pitched singing, we’ll be OK!
Housemate #8 – Casey Batchelor – She’s a glamour model…Lee Ryan will be the happiest man in the house clearly. She loves herself. Her and Lee will be well fitted!
Housemate #9 – Ollie Locke – Oh look…the obligatory Made In Chelsea person……dear lord! There’s not much that can really be said about him. He’s posh and hates arrogant people….guaranteed that Housemate #10 will be Katie Hopkins then…
Housemate #10 – Lionel Blair – YES! I’m voting for him to win. I LOVE Lionel Blair! Total legend. He’s still got it. I hope they play “Give Us A Clue” in there! I think he was a bit disturbed when being shackled to Ollie though.
Housemate #11 – Luisa Zissman from The Apprentice – She’s quite likeable actually and I did quite like her when she was trying to win Alan Sugar’s little competition. Hmmmmmmm……could they tie her up to another ex-Apprentice person………..surely…..is SHE here?
Housemate #12 – Evander Holyfield – Well…he’s a little different to Katie Hopkins…but to be fair I think the whole country would have just been disgusted by her over and over again…but what a compromise…Evander Holyfield is probably most famous for having his ear bitten off by Mike Tyson.
So…who will Jim & Linda split? My money is on either Evander & Luisa OR Dappy & Liz…
Dappy & Liz were picked. Fair choice really.
…but a twist…
…Dappy & Liz are paying a price…they will face the first eviction…as a pair…and by Monday two more pairs will join them.
Looking forward to this again……..Big Brother in the house!
First stages in the two resolutions I set up went into operation today.
First up, a good big-shop after work to get tonnes of healthy food to kickstart the healthy eating and get some weight shifted ASAP. Elle is gonna do plenty of batch cooking to make things a little easier.
Secondly, I bought this today for the Kindle :
I have had a read through it and it seems pretty straight forward…😐. I’ll be playing like a professional in no-time…oh…wait…I ain’t got a guitar yet.
Put some feelers out for anyone with an old one on Facebook. Also found a guy selling on on Gumtree over in Rothwell for £25. Could be a winner. Elle has apparently listed it at work too to see if anyone has one that needs a good home…watch this space!
Finally got around to watching Episode 1 Season 1 of “Sons Of Anarchy” tonight. Lawlor & Euan keep telling me that I HAVE to watch it and we finally bit the bullet and got the first episode viewed…and you know what…It was pretty awesome. I am looking forward to watching more of them….plenty of episodes to go at!
Crooksy had started a blog. Check it out by clicking here
Here we are. 2014 has been joyously celebrated…and by some, the affects are still being felt.
Welcome to the new year!
So a whole year ago I said “I know what’d be a cracking idea…do a daily blog…stick with it”. Some said I wouldn’t keep up to it, and I have to admit there has been a few occasions where I did miss and had to recap…but they all got there…
So here we go again with this new year to aim for.
We saw the end of 2013 and the beginning of 2014 with Elle’s family down in Old Colwyn at Huw & Sandra’s house. There were lots of is there. John & Jo and Cait, Amy, Tom & Seren, Sandra & Huw, Gareth & Kirsty, Sharron & Chico, Steffan & Noa, Jean, Paul & Ffion and Alfie & Archie.
We had a really good laugh. We played a drinking game quiz which quickly descended and a few rounds of Family Fortunes before the Jaeger bombs came out! I went through a fair few ales. Nicely done! Nicely done!
We also had a few fireworks to add to the collection that were going off around Colwyn…we videoed the Doctor Thrust firework doing his thing…
The Thrust needed to thrust a bit higher to be fair. We almost all got singed eyebrows!
So 2014 and new resolutions….
Firstly the obligatory health kick is needed. Goes without saying and we’ll be going shopping for only nice food.
Also….I REALLY wanna learn how to play guitar…we’ll see how that goes…!
Happy New Year everyone and let’s hope it’s a great one for you all!
What an action packed and fun filled year. 2013 was already shaping up to be a good one and I knew it right back on January 1st when the decision was made to write a daily blog of my life.
Yeah sure, some days have been massively boring with nothing more than saying what we watched on TV etc, but there’s been a lot of fun days too.
January
▪️We placed our first ever Geocaches in Middleton Park. Unfortunately later in in the year they were stolen and had to be archived! Booo!
▪️I appeared on Tipping Point on ITV which I had recorded back in 2012. People laughed at me for gambling! Ouch!
▪️We watched Blood Brothers at the theatre.
February
▪️We saw Train live in Leeds the night before I went to Nottingham on my Stag Do for a cracking weekend
March
▪️Elle went on her Hen Do to Chester and I attended Jess & Ash’s wedding down in Wales.
▪️We mourned Paul Bearer who died.
▪️We went to Northumberland for Katy & Kinney’s wedding.
▪️Watched a cracking documentary about The Queen and wrote a letter to Buckingham Palace.
▪️Paid respects to a friends’ father who passed away.
April
▪️Crooksy wound us all up pretending he was in New York for Wrestlemania when he wasn’t.
▪️Then the best day ever…our wedding day. April 20th 2013 was the day Elle said “I Do” and became my wife. What a wonderful day was had by all. I even managed to fit a bit of Marching On Together into my wedding speech!
▪️Then it was off on Honeymoon. We went to Yellowtop Country Park in York for a short stop off before heading to Las Vegas. The MGM Grand was amazing and massive, we walked miles, we went to the Grand Canyon & Hooters, then had a second wedding with Elvis and went back to Hooters and got wasted, then we drove to LA and I fell in love with baseball and The Dodgers.
May
▪️Still on honeymoon we did Universal Hollywood then drove to Pismo Beach for a relaxing few days, eating at the Cracked Crab, before heading back to Vegas and The Venetian which took in Penn & Teller, Rock Of Ages on stage and Fremont Street…and who can forget Denny’s!
▪️Back home we saw The Full Monty on stage which was brilliant too.
▪️The Xbox One was announced and looked amazing.
▪️We went camping together for the first time in Colton and absolutely loved it. We need to do that more in 2014.
▪️Finished off the month saying goodbye to a load of workmates who had been made redundant.
June
▪️News broke that Matt Smith was stepping down as Doctor Who.
▪️We had fully caught up with Game Of Thrones and watched the end of Season 3.
▪️£50k Friday competition on Real Radio sparked some controversy when I managed to get through three times and get through to the final. Spent a cracking day in the studio with Dixie & Gayle but failed to win the £50k after being knocked out by a Michael Jackson question! Gutted!
▪️Went to see Bon Jovi in Manchester. Amazing, even though Richie Sambora wasn’t there.
▪️Saw Robbie Williams live in Manchester too. Awesome show. He was supported by Olly Murs who was great too.
▪️Did the 2.8 Hours Later Zombie Run in Manchester which was one of the most fun things ever! I managed to get the entire way around it without being caught. Amazing!
July
▪️My Dad turned 60 in July and it was nice to see him.
▪️Also our friends Emma & Luke got married on the hottest day ever!
▪️Cory Monteith from Glee died.
▪️Superman Vs Batman announced! Hell yeah!
▪️The Royal baby is born.
▪️Ken Bates is ousted as Leeds Chairman much to the delight of the fans.
▪️Attended two christenings on the same day – Kev & Kim’s Millie as well as Elle’s work friend’s baby.
August
▪️Saw the International Space Station pass over for the first time ever.
▪️Megan had her 4th birthday party an Rich and I played Darts for ages whilst Elle did a tonne of face painting.
▪️Started suffering with my Chest again.
▪️Ben Affleck announced as the new Batman….Hahahahahah!
▪️Had a Gangster’s & Gal’s party at Lawlor’s.
September
▪️Went to Knightcon at Xscape with Lawlor for Stars n Cars which was ace.
▪️Megan started school.
▪️I was Ineligible to play the second £50k Friday game.
▪️Discovered Breaking Bad and started to hammer that.
▪️Auditioned for Show Me The Telly with Lawlor.
▪️Dodgers win the league.
▪️I bought Grand Theft Auto 5…Wow!
▪️Watched the finale of Dexter and was let down massively.
October
▪️Went to Leeds First Direct Arena for the first time to see Danny Elfman’s music from the films of Tim Burton. It was a cracking arena.
▪️Became an uncle for the second time when Elle’s Sister gave birth to Seren.
▪️Dodgers were knocked out in the Playoffs…typical!
▪️Filmed Show Me The Telly where Steve, Lawlor and I took on Denise Van Outen, Andi Peters and Chris Tarrant. It was a brilliant day filming. Loved every minute of it.
November
▪️Did Movember and grew the worst moustache ever.
▪️Watched the first ever WWE event from Leeds at the First Direct Arena.
▪️Cashed in the hotel holiday I won on Tipping Point and visited the Woolpack.
December
▪️Nelson Mandela died.
▪️Massive mid-season finale of The Walking Dead!
▪️Show Me The Telly was shown.
▪️Saw the Boxing at the First Direct Arena.
▪️Got an Xbox One for Christmas!
What an amazing year. Let’s hope 2014 brings more of the same!
Ok, I’m writing this down as the dream I just had was vivid and u don’t know whether it’s a potential work of genius or what.
So the setting is very much like the Railway Children (although I know absolutely nothing about what The Railway Children is about nor what happens in it).
Opening shot if the dream a woman is walking alongside the engine of a stationary steam train. Her daughter of about 5/6 years old is dancing around in front, running on and off the tracks. For some reason I am providing a VoiceOver where I say (in a typically broad Yorkshire accent) :
Times were different back then. Back in the days of the engines. But look at ‘er. I wouldn’t bi lettin’ mi’ kid run on track like that!
Then we cut to a shot of three kids alongside the tracks. One young girl is about 6 and may be the same one we saw running on the tracks earlier. She’s stood up dancing around the other two. The next oldest is a girl of around 15. The other is an older lad of around 20. This one is me!
I lean across to the eldest girl and say (again in Yorkshire) :
Of course there’s things we can talk about that we can’t let her hear (nodding to the youngest) but you just be careful and if some lad don’t treat ya reight, you come an’ tell ya big brother won’t ya?
I then look around and say to the other two “I haven’t even read the script for this so I have no idea what I’m meant to be saying” but no-one stops me so I guess whoever is filming is happy with my portrayal of the character.
Scene cuts to a factory.
We go inside and an older woman is coming out of the main office with a huge pie in her hands. A typically homemade pie like the type you see in cartoons or period dramas. It’s huge. It looks like my character is working at the factory. Me and a few of the lads are messing about when a delivery is obviously arriving. We head off to the truck where a couple of Cockney delivery drivers have turned up. One of the drivers is played by none other than Olly Murs.
Now Olly Murs seems to be everywhere lately but I have a little but of a fondness for him in that he was a contestant on Deal Or No Deal about a year after I was…so I feel like we have some sort of link!
Olly is being very typically and stereotypically cockney coming out with rhyming slang etc as we unload the stuff from the truck. It then dawns on me that clearly Olly’s character is there to sweep my eldest sister character off her feet.
“so you been around my sister have ya?” I said. Olly just looked at me as just said “No mate, just arrived with these ain’t i?”
“Wanted to kiss her have ya?” I said again but before Olly can answer we all end up near the front entrance ad an announcement is made that some of us are going to be laid off. I think the older woman with the pie has already been laid off and the pie was her severance package from the owner’s wife.
Then for some reason I say to her “tha wants to get tha pie home quick love. If Mrs Wilkins has made it it’ll be fresher than the mooing cow that’s been chopped up and chucked in there. Gas mark 9, 45 minutes, run along” to which the woman starts crying, picks up the pie and scurries out of the factory.
Then I woke up.
So there you go. A very odd little dream that was very vivid, so if anyone fancies working on a script with me…I’m all ears. And if Olly Murs fancies reprising his role as Cockney delivery man, it would be much appreciated.
What do you think?
I found it….I never posted on December 23rd…..erm…so what did I do on this day?
Not a clue…but here’s a post for it…..phew!
OK…this is embarrassing.
So, since January 1st, I have been posting a blog a day…but check this out…today’s blog going by the numbers would have been 363/365 – But it’s December 30th…so it should be 364/365! ARGH!
I’m missing a day somewhere. I know sometimes I have left it a day or so and played catchup…but I have no idea where my missing day it…can you find it?
OK…here’s the deal…whoever can find my missing day on my blog will win a super-duper prize…Seriously…this is your mission…try to find out where my blog went wrong and you will win!
In other news, watched Bad Boys with Will Smith & Martin Lawrence for the first time ever. Cracking film.
Went for a LivingSocial deal meal at Ashiana Indian restaurant in Bradford and it was rubbish. The buffet had cracking starter selection, but all the currys tasted exactly the same! Not good.
So…tomorrow I will have a mammoth 2013 review…it’s been a fun year. But in the meantime….find my missing day!!!
Wow. For the second day running we didn’t leave the house. I could get quite used to this! Haha.
Managed to completely polish off the rest of Luther whilst at the same time discovering that streaming media from the laptop through the Xbox One is massively easy! Think that will be getting plenty of abuse for sure!
Leeds played Nottingham Forest away today. There was an online stream I picked up so managed to watch a blurry version of the game. We were losing 1-0 from the 23rd minute but on 85 mins we managed to pull one back…only to concede again a minute later! Ouch! Not a cracking result and definitely not a cracking game of football.
Played more FIFA 14…I just can’t seem to string together online wins! It’s certainly a challenge I am going to continue to step up to though! One day…one day!
Leeds United Prediction League 