003/2014 : Celebrity Big Brother 2014

It wouldn’t be the start of the new year without the return of Big Brother, and more importantly the celebrity version of it.

What can we expect this year? Initial reaction to who will be going in comes down to various categories :

  • Glamour Models
  • Playboys
  • Disgraced TV stars
  • Comedians who haven’t done anything for years
  • Politically incorrect people who will just stir things for their own good. 
  • Ex-Soap actors who have either been killed off in the last year and/or been reported as being a cheat.
  • Some random TOWIE personality
  • Some random Made In Chelsea freak. 

So…who’s rumoured to be going in? The main names that are being thrown around are Katie Price, Katie Hopkins and Michael LeVell.

Personally, I can’t see Katie Price doing it, so she’ll be a massive outsider for me. Katie Hopkins however is a different story. The former Apprentice “star” has had a right old year with ding-dongs on This Morning about everything from children’s names to celebrating childrens’ birthdays. She’ll be instantly disliked…but could be a contender to win. Michael Lavelle could be another very good shout. He needs to get back a decent image of himself following the trail he was involved in.

So…here we go with the OFFICIAL lineup and my comments as it happens :

The house : Russian Opulence is the theme….not much else can be really said about it. It’s elegant. In the bedroom, there’s all Double beds, except two….interesting.

Here we go :

Housemate #1 – Jim Davidson – He’s in there to pick up his career again following the recent news of him being dragged into the Operation Yewtree TV presenter news shenanigans, but subsequently being let off as no-one had anything on him. He was meant to be in here last year but due to the investigation he couldn’t do it…but here he is now. Could be quite funny in there. Says he can live with anyone. He falls into a couple of my categories from above too.

Break time…and Jim hasn’t gone in yet…I heard a rumour that they were going to be tying the celebs to each other…which ties into the double bed things too…who will Jim to tied to then…? And who will be the first to complain about “Human rights” being violated? I am guessing whoever the token American is this year…

Housemate #2 – Linda Nolan – Says she doesn’t like Celebs who have just got famous for stripping off and says she hates male chauvinist pigs and once had Jim Davidson thrown out of a club…hehe. She has a good chance of winning.

Linda, meet Jim. Linda you’re handcuffed to Jim. In you go! Got a funny feeling they might get along.

Then they both get called to the diary room. They are given power to Unshackle a pair of housemates once everyone is in. Interesting.

Housemate #3 – Dappy from N-Dubz – He’s in here to show the public that he’s not as bad as he’s been portrayed in the press. Not sure which way he could go in there. My mate Yvonne text to say that she hopes Simon Amstell should be handcuffed to him…they have history! He says he wants to go in and be himself.

Housemate #4 – Liz Jones – a fashion writer for the Daily Mail…haha…going to clash massively with Dappy…this pairing could be a contender for getting split up by Jim & Linda. Dappy will be used to handcuffs…she’s going to clearly hate being handcuffed to him!

Housemate #5 – Sam Faiers – token TOWIE person as predicted above! Well known for her spats with Joey Essex…but Joey is LOVED by the public now so that may go against her a little. She’s made a point of being single.

Housemate #6 – Jasmine Waltz – she’s apparently famous for shagging David Arquette…….joy! Potentially annoying, potentially good fun. Could go either way. Would have been the one ready to bail out after being handcuffed…but no, they’ve stuck the two glamorous ones together to stop any of that awkwardness.

Housemate #7 – Lee Ryan from Blue – He’ll never be anyone else. He comes across as a bit of a bellend….and I expect that he’ll go no way towards disproving my theory. As long as he doesn’t do his massively high pitched singing, we’ll be OK!

Housemate #8 – Casey Batchelor – She’s a glamour model…Lee Ryan will be the happiest man in the house clearly. She loves herself. Her and Lee will be well fitted!

Housemate #9 – Ollie Locke – Oh look…the obligatory Made In Chelsea person……dear lord! There’s not much that can really be said about him. He’s posh and hates arrogant people….guaranteed that Housemate #10 will be Katie Hopkins then…

Housemate #10 – Lionel Blair – YES! I’m voting for him to win. I LOVE Lionel Blair! Total legend. He’s still got it. I hope they play “Give Us A Clue” in there! I think he was a bit disturbed when being shackled to Ollie though.

Housemate #11 – Luisa Zissman from The Apprentice – She’s quite likeable actually and I did quite like her when she was trying to win Alan Sugar’s little competition. Hmmmmmmm……could they tie her up to another ex-Apprentice person………..surely…..is SHE here?

Housemate #12 – Evander Holyfield – Well…he’s a little different to Katie Hopkins…but to be fair I think the whole country would have just been disgusted by her over and over again…but what a compromise…Evander Holyfield is probably most famous for having his ear bitten off by Mike Tyson.

So…who will Jim & Linda split? My money is on either Evander & Luisa OR Dappy & Liz…

Dappy & Liz were picked. Fair choice really.

…but a twist…

…Dappy & Liz are paying a price…they will face the first eviction…as a pair…and by Monday two more pairs will join them.

Looking forward to this again……..Big Brother in the house!

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