Page 67/365 : Wedding #2 in two weeks

So here we are…the second wedding in two weeks and this time it was ready for Katy Allen and Martin McKinney. Got up nice and early and got ready for the long day ahead.

Suited and booted it was time to go :

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We headed over to St Peters in Alnwick for the ceremony. Now, I am not a big fan of church ceremonies. I have nothing really against them, and I am not saying I don’t partly believe in some kind of higher power, and respect all beliefs and all that… It the Wedding Ceremony was absolutely fantastic. The Deacon who was conducting the service had some really nice words to say to the couple who were looking fantastic too.

After the ceremony we jumped in the car and headed back to Newton Hall. The building was so beautiful. It was very stylish and well worthy of a nice wedding. Then came the food…and oh my it was amazing. The start was a nice feta cheese & olive salad. It was beautiful…and Kay didn’t like it so I had two! Amazing!

Next up, we had a sorbet between courses which was a nice palate cleanser and very refreshing.

Then the main…we all got very excited when we saw Yorkshire Puddings! We may be up in Geordie-ville, but the puddings have to be Yorkshire! The main was a lovely Pork dinner that was lush…and then…it was Creme Brûlée time…

…now as people know, I am a big lad and I do love my food…and I am always up for a challenge…and that is what sparked what happened next. I had my Brûlée. I had half of Kay’s brûlée. I had someone else’s brûlée, I had the leftovers of someone else’s brûlée, Kay went to e top table, took Kinnie’s Mum’s Brûlée and brought it back…in the end I had around 12 Brûlée bowls in front of me…prompting people knowing me as Brûlée Man!

There was a Table-Naming competition and I came up with “Forget the Geordie Shore, Pet, it’s all about the Morley Shore, Ey-up” and we won the best table name! Woohoo! Another bottle of White wine and a bottle of Prosecco. The win was certainly flowing on our table.

The night Do was awesome too. I cut a deal with the bar manager. Jaeger bombs were meant to be £3.95 each but I cut a “Three for a tenner” deal which was well worth it!

They had a Kaylee, a traditional form of dancing which was being led by the band. Elle and I attempted to do it but we kept falling over ourselves and made the decision there and then that we need to learn to dance for our wedding.

Got a lift back to the cottages. I was proper hanging after the long day. Went to bed. Later when everyone else turned up, Luke came in and jumped on me…the bed broke! Oops!

6 weeks and 1 day to go until ours.

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Page 66/365 : A Murderers Paradise

Wrapped up all work for the week as I have Friday off. We’re going to the wedding of Katy Allan and Martin McKinney up in Northumberland.

The post-work-get-ready was fun. First of all, the tie that’s been sent for my outfit was the wrong colour! Doh! Secondly, Elle’s fascinator didn’t turn up so it was a quick dash to the White Rose Center to get that sorted. Then it was time for my last minute packing, as is always the case…and could I find any undies or socks anywhere? Could I Fuck!

Anyway, once that was sorted and I had bashed out the stains and toughness from a few pairs of Y-Fronts, we were ready for the near two hour drive up north.

The A1.

Ah, the lovely A1 with its lack of lights and lack of three lanes to drive in. It’s a constant weave left and right, from behind a lorry, to alongside a lorry, to in front of a lorry to let the 100mph Audi and BMW drivers fly past. Wankers!

We got past Darlington, we got to Newcastle and there was still an hour on the Sat Nav!!! Where the hell were we going??? We passed the Angel Of The North, the fear-inducing beast which feels sinister and wrong, standing high above the motorway, mocking anyone who dare come further north with its arms out in a “Come and have a go if you think you’re hard enough” kind of gesture.

The surroundings got darker, there became a sudden lack of people on the road…then we turned off into absolute darkness. Some winding lanes, a couple of villages, a Wooden Toy shop (!). We could hardly see anything around us, then we passed a glamorous building, a beautiful building in good surroundings, Newton Hall, the venue for tomorrow’s wedding…but we weren’t staying there. Nope…we were heading to some Cottages further on and down some more dirt-track lanes. When we pulled up to the cottages it became apparent we were the only ones there. Poor Luke had been waiting in the cottages since about 6…all alone…how he hadn’t been murdered is beyond me, it’s the type of place that you watch in the films where everyone dies off one by one, slow, agonizing deaths! But Luke is about 8ft tall, he’d play the hero who fell towards the end of the film…but here we were now…and let’s face it, it’s always the fat guy to get done over first…I am screwed!

To be fair, the cottages are absolutely lovely and somewhere I would definitely come again…just when it was lighter…and not absolute darkness!!!

Ellie and Andy turned up and we all had a few beers and plenty of chat before bed time…prime Cottage Murderer time…

…in the middle of the night, there was a loud crash. Elle nudged me and said “What was that?” I went back to sleep…I ain’t the fool to be the first to go and investigate a “noise” never to return…! Fuck that!

Looking forward to the wedding tomorrow. The venue looks absolutely beautiful and I am sure it will be an absolutely brilliant day.

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Page 65/365 : Rest…In…Peace!

The lights go out.

A single bell tolls.

Smoke billows from the entranceway.

A tall, dark shadowy figure emerges from the smoke, his long dark hair cascading from beneath his hat, his menacing eyes penetrating his opponent. The chill running throughout the arena as the funeral march begins to pipe out. But stood in front of this man, is an equally frightful sight. His pale face, his darkened eyes, his long cloak…and the urn, tilted towards his follower, his evil disciple. He controls the man…

Say the name “William Moody” to any wrestling and you will be greeted with blank looks. Mention Percy Pringle and you might elicit some kind of response, but utter the name Paul Bearer and get ready for people to break out into calls of “Oooh yyyyesss!” And hold an arm in the air as if hoisting an invisible talisman into the air.

Paul Bearer, AKA Percy Pringle III, AKA William Moody, who died in the last 24 hours in Mobile Alabama at the age of 58.

Paul Bearer has to go down in history as The greatest WWE superstar manager in history. A character which told a story never really focused upon himself but the driving force behind another. The Undertaker was the man, Bearer his sidekick. Always there, always helping. If The Undertaker dropped and was out for the count, Bearer would raise the Urn and The Undertaker would rise again to dispose of his opponent.

I remember being a kid, watching videotapes that a friend recorded (we didn’t have Sky TV) and sitting in my bedroom watching in awe at the WWF (yes, I said it), marveling at the likes of the Macho Man and Hulk Hogan…but The Undertaker was always the man for me…and hence my love for Paul Bearer began.

After actually earning a degree in Mortuary Science and playing about in the Indy fed for years, Moody came to the WWF, and using his background in the Mortuary business, the character of Paul Bearer was born. He was given the Urn and his protege was The Undertaker, played by Mark Calaway, a wrestler with moderate success in WCW who was about to be elevated to the Big time with Paul Bearer alongside him all the way.

I loved how Bearer was used in the company, either a helpful hand to The Undertaker or a hindrance when he would have The Urn stolen away and lose his master’s power.

Lately however, Bearer has been used sparingly, but every time he pops up on WWE programming, I am instantly taken back to being a kid and idolising him and ‘Taker.

In 2011 I had the pleasure of meeting him at the Wrestlemania Axxess session prior to Wrestlemania 27 and he was one of the nicest guys you could wish to meet.

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I have since had Tweets off the guy and he always took time to answer his fans on Twitter.

On Raw this week, I was massively happy that The Undertaker made his return to the WWE on Monday Night Raw…but just 24 hours later am saddened by the passing of a great man.

Paul Bearer, played evil on earth, put into heaven, resting in peace.

RIP x

Let me know your thoughts on Paul Bearer by commenting below…

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Page 64/365 : So close…an art form!

Watched an interesting video on the BBC website (Click here to view) about the inclusion of Video Games into the Museum of Modern Art in New York with the viewpoint of asking whether or not video games should be considered a work of art. My thoughts are that art can take many forms and the true thoughts behind “what makes art?” is more a question of “What is art to you?”. For example, I look at a lot of pieces of art and genuinely think Why would anyone want that on their wall or even Who said that’s Art?, one prime example being that unmade bed that Tracey Emin displayed as “Contemporary Art” :

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To me…that is not art. But check this out…check the symmetry used on this image :

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Beautiful!

Art is inspiring, art puts feelings in your heart, whether warm or cold, and art doesn’t make you think “What the fucking hell is that being classed as art for?” Like Emin’s skanky bed.

If someone opened a National Games Museum, with hands on approaches to the most loved games across the years, with behind-the-scenes looks at development processes and concept artwork, I would 100% spend hard earned money to go look around…but offer me a ticket for free to an arty-farty gallery and I would have to think twice about whether I could be arsed to look at pompous crap that someone else is telling me is Exquisite and Contemporary.

  • Tonight, Leeds United needed to beat Leicester in the league. Leicester who constantly prove to be a set of bastards who will do us over at any given opportunity, a set if bastards who love to spoil our fun…and tonight was no different.

    All was going well. 0-0 at half time, and early in the second the Tweet updates from Phil Hay from the Evening Post read that Byram had out Leeds in front…and all it was going to take now was holding on until the end of the game…which we did………until about five seconds from the end of the game when we let an equalizer in…made worse by the fact the kid who scored it is only on loan from Scum!!!

    So another two points dropped, and some results around us were going our way too. It would have been a perfect opportunity to gain on the Playoffs but in typical Leeds United fashion we went and fucked it up…it’s somewhat of an art form in itself…!

    Organised a couple more things for the wedding today too. Everything coming along nicely now. 6 weeks and 4 sleeps until the big day!

    Heard an interesting story today that Justin Bieber turned up 2 hours late to a concert and ended up making loads of fans miss their transport home after…I am sensing the start of the downhill spiral…I expect he’ll publicly shave his hair off soon and sign up for the next series of Celebrity Big Brother.

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    Page 63/365 : Tired Belle

    Elle back from the Hen do today and naturally she was completely knackered and tired.

    Got home from work to find her sprawled out half asleep…bless! She’d had a good weekend in Chester though which was good.

    Huge collection of half-drunk-alcohol in the house now…..PARRRRRRRTTTTYYYYYYY!!!!

    Was happy with the TV world tonight too as Robson’s Extreme Fishing Challenge was on. We’d missed last week’s episode, the first in the series, so downloaded it on the On Demand on Sky. Watched both episodes and absolutely fell in love with it again…god knows why I love a fishing program so much, but it just kinda…well…works!

    Also watched this week’s episode of The Big Reunion which featured B*Witched and 911. Its kinda sad watching these programmes and realising how much was going on behind the scenes and how the industry was slowly tearing them all apart.

    Decided that I need to make this Blog a bit more…erm…entertaining…so I am actually going to comment on things in the news etc which are annoying/controversial, instead of just banging on about what I had for my dinner etc!

    Saw today that someone has said that by 2020, the average first-time house-buyer would need a Deposit of £100,000 to get their own place and get onto the property ladder…how the hell is that meant to be possible? I think we’re likely in the future to see bigger corporations owning propertied and everyone only being able to afford to rent a place. It’s the way things are going and unfortunately its going to affect everyone massively. After we get married, we will be looking and in the market to move back up to Morley, but the prospect of having to save a massive amount for deposits etc is a scary and daunting one…but we’ll get there…plus, I just want a house with my own “Man Room”..fridge for beer, Xbox, big TV, Stereo system, Lava Lamps…all that shit!

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    Page 62/365 : Triple play

    Up early-ish. Lawlor was hanging big time.

    Borrowed a pair of his Jeans due to my trousers being ripped.

    Went down into Wrexham with Lawlor and Crooksy and bought our shoes for the wedding as well as having a big mixed grill for dinner.

    Headed back home and decided to go to the cinema. Watched Hansel & Gretel Witch Hunters, Mama and Warm Bodies. All my reviews are here on my blog! Enjoy

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    Film Review – #1210 : Warm Bodies

    I love films which successfully play around with the genre they are in.

    Shaun Of The Dead works brilliantly and Britishly, Zombieland went for a lot of fun and humour whilst keeping the craziness intact, and now there’s Warm Bodies, a film I would describe to anyone as Zombieland with heart.

    R is a Zombie. He doesn’t know why he is or who he is, but he wanders aimlessly without a care in the world. Until he meets Julie, a non-infected girl whom he falls for after eating her boyfriends brains (as you do)

    After saving Julie’s life, R takes it upon himself to protect Julie and their relationship blossoms.

    Can they cure the Zombie in the population before it gets out of hand or will the brain eaters take over?

    The film breaks down a wall between people by telling the story from the Zombie’s point of view. Especially as he tried to woo his girl but is restricted by his Flesh eating ways.

    It’s a Romeo & Juliet type story which is very impressive and definitely one I would recommend and would definitely watch again myself

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    Film review – #1209 : Mama

    Guillermo Del Toro produces another horror straight from the “lets get some freaky kids” school of scares.

    The film revolves around a husband who, suicidally kidnaps his own kids and is about to kill them before meeting a grisly end himself. The girls are then left for five years to fend for themselves with only “Mama” as company, an unknown being who seems to float and come out of black slime on the walls.

    And that’s about as scary as the films gets.

    Yes, it’s a bit freaky, especially when the two girls are running around the house like spiders and bending into awkward shapes.

    But the “Mama” character, a being that should instil fear into your very bones…just isn’t scary.

    The tension is most definitely built up but every moment that could be seen as “jumpy” is totally telegraphed to the viewer so at the last second it’s like “oh, here it is” and there it is.

    I can certainly see what the film was aiming for, and in that sense it’s actually not that bad a story, but I just think its executed in a bad way.

    I have seen scarier episodes of Dex

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    Film Review – #1208 : Hansel & Gretel Witch Hunters

    Everyone knows the story of Hansel & Gretel who saved their own skins by tipping a witch into a fire after being lured to her gingerbread house. But what happened after? Well Hansel & Gretel Witch Hunters has it all in the title.

    When the one witch in the Gingerbread house was only the start of a huge Witch Epidemic which broke out across the world, Hansel (Jeremy Renner) & Gretel (Gemma Arterton), after getting a taste for witch blood, take it upon themselves to rid the world of the warty-evils an banish witches to the netherworld for ever. The best way of doing so is the obligatory burning of said witch until she resembles a Well Done Steak!

    But evil witch Muriel has other plans and aims to put an end to witch cruelty for good by finding a way to make themselves fireproof. Naturally this evil plan gets in the way of H&G’s plans to slaughter them all, so tensions rise faster than steam from a bubbling cauldron.

    I was very impressed with the casting in this film. Gemma Arterton really nailed the tough, witch-ass-kicking side to her character whilst Renner does have a few good one-liners.

    It’s all very cheesy but there’s a fair amount of blood and gore to contend with and surprisingly plenty of swearing, which kinda comes as a shock use to it being based on a kids’ fairy tale.

    Thoroughly enjoyable though an Janssen’s evilness comes across well.

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    Page 61/365 : Wins, Weddings and Whiskey!

    Woke up at my Mum and Dads this morning and headed back home to get ready for the day. Ironed a shirt that wanted sorting for later on. It wasn’t very dressy but would do for the night do later…

    But first it was the Leeds match and we were playing Millwall who brought a massive 151 fans from the big smoke for the game. We started off well as had a few chances after being forced to play to towards the Kop in the frat half. We had a penalty but McCormack’s attempt was saved by the keeper. He hit the post a few minutes later too.

    And then half time came…

    It was time for the half time game…so a backstory, the rules are simple, from the penalty spot, put the ball in the back of the net without it touching the ground. The first time earlier this season…over the bar, the second time was better…hit the crossbar. So I had to do better on this THIRD time.

    Yes, I got picked out…again!

    I stepped up…and scuffed it straight along the ground…but all was not lost…Ben Fry was clearly feeling sorry for me and let me have another go…this time I hit it sweet and it went in!!!! Woohoo! £50 bet won…but the rush was too much and I had to attempt the next stage….from the edge of the penalty area. Again I hit it sweet but it just dipped over the crossbar! Gutted!

    Leeds came out in the second half playing well but it took another penalty for the game to be sealed up. This time, Warnock took it and got the only goal of the game.

    Then it was time to head over to Wales.

    I hopped in the car and heard down the M62. Thankfully there wasn’t the traffic that was plaguing everyone last night and I got to Wales fairly early. So early that Ash and Jess let me in early and let me see the speeches which was good…even if I did feel a big scruffy in my not-really-dressed-up-for-a-day-do shirt.

    The day was fantastic. Dead pleased for Jess n Ash…and in 7 weeks it’ll be time for me and Elle to do it all ourselves. Can’t wait!!!

    Had quite a few drinks, Jaeger Train was rolling, me and Lawlor joined in the first dance, fish n chips were served up and a good night was had by all. Then we headed back to Lawlor’s to finish up the night with Lawlor’s Honey Jack Daniels! Good times.

    I crashed on the living room floor for the night alongside Bane Click here to see the video of Euan “Bane” Crooks

    Cracking day and congratulations to the new Mr & Mrs Edwards x

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