Battle: Los Angeles

Cineworld Challenge Film #3 – Battle: Los Angeles Cert 12a
@Cineworld Wakefield, 14/03/2011 1pm
Trailers : Source Code, Limitless, Fast Five, Bad Teacher

Big budget alien invasion movies can go one of two ways. They can either fall into the Independence Day category and contain a good story, tension and a healthy dose of humour OR they can be straightforward blam blam blam action, no real storyline and characters you don’t really care about.

Unfortunately, Battle: Los Angeles kinda falls into the latter category.

The action gets underwater from the get-go. We see marines (as if it would be anyone else) being deployed to an invasion before a quick flashback to introduce all the flimsy characters. Aaron Eckhart’s character is the only one with any substance and it’s only a few minutes into the film that you find put his character lost and entire regiment not too long ago (ain’t that always the case?).

And so the alien invasion comes, well I say alien but these ain’t the cute weed-smoking aliens from “Paul”. Nope , these are super advanced killing machines with only destruction on their minds.

The special effects are pretty damn amazing to give the film it’s credit where it’s due. But there’s only so much gunfire you can take and unfortunately it’s pretty much relentless throughout. The only thing this movie was missing was a gung-ho Michelle Rodriguez type to pop up and…oh wait, yeah they’ve even thrown in that cliche!

It’s a decent enough effort but not a film I would be revisiting as many times as I have with other outer-space encounters.

Overall rating 4.5/10

Posted in Movies | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Paul

Cineworld Challenge Film #2 – Paul, Cert 15
@Cineworld Wakefield, 12/03/11 8:30pm
Trailers : Fast Five, Your Highness, Scream 4, Limitless

Simon Pegg and Nick Frost are fast becoming a national treasure. Following the success of TV series “Spaced” between 1999 and 2001, and the huge following of “Shaun Of The Dead” which was quickly followed up by police flick “Hot Fuzz”, the real-life buddies working on film in a buddy movie just seems to work effortlessly. They genuinely look like they’re having fun.

So step forward to 2011 and “Paul” a buddy movie, road trip flick and close-encounter film all rolled into one. Mix in there a little bit of romance, a healthy dose of comedy and a weed-smoking foul-mouthed alien voiced by weed-smoking, foul-mouthed Seth Rogen and the sum of it all is very exciting.

Pegg and Frost play Graeme & Clive. Two comic book geeks on a US tour of alien hotspots such as Area 51 and Roswell. After doing the typically English thing of pissing off some American hillbillies, they stumble across Paul, an alien who has been living on Earth for over 60 years. He quickly befriends the duo and sets them off on a mission of a lifetime to help him return home. Hot on their heels is “The Big Man” and a couple of bumbling cops all looking to capture Paul and take him back to base!

“Paul” is hilarious in parts, sentimental in others and totally and utterly geekerific! If you love Sci-Fi movies, you will absolutely adore all the little in-jokes and small moments dotted around, particularly near the end of the movie when it seems as though Pegg & Frost decided to write in as many quotes and geek-spots as they possibly could.

The movie makes plenty of nods to the likes of Men In Black, ET, Close Encounters, Alien and Steven Spielberg in particular.

There’s action, adventure and a cute story at the heart of the movie that will appeal to all people of all ages. Don’t worry if you don’t get some of the in-jokes, you don’t need to have seen every sci-fi movie ever released to love what is a very funny tale of friendship and fun. Yes, it’s cliche-ridden and you can see some of the set-pieces coming an entire galaxy away, but it’s thoroughly enjoyable and a great ride.

Overall rating 8/10

Posted in Movies | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Hall Pass

Cineworld Challenge Film #1 -Hall Pass, Cert 15
@Cineworld Wakefield, 12/03/11 11am
Trailers : Arthur, The Lincoln Lawyer, Your Highness, Chalet Girl

Before the turn of the century, Bobby and Peter Farrelly had it all. They had laid out a comedy-stall for all to admire with the likes of “Dumb and Dumber” and “There’s Something About Mary”. Both iconic movies which relied on the gross-out factor and true belly-laughs to draw in audiences the world over. Their unique take on buddy movies and romantic stories were loved and all hailed the dawn of a new kind of film-funny for the future.

Come to this side of the Millenium and with hits such as “Me, Myself & Irene” and the fattist “Shallow Hal”, and the Farrelly Brothers really could do no wrong…and then it all kinda dried up. “Stuck On You” failed to recoup it’s budget and “The Heartbreak Kid” starring Ben Stiller did well, even though it was only Farrelly-Directed and not written.

So it was with mixed feelings that I approached Hall Pass, the new offering from the one-time comedy-kings. The synopsis is simple yet silly. Two guys, stuck in sexless marriages which don’t look to have the light-at-the-end-of-the-tunnel about them anymore, are given a “Hall Pass”. A one-week granting of freedom by their respective wives to run free and wild and lap at the pool of enchantment once more. The idea is quirky. Will the middle-aged men relive their youths and recapture their forms and bask in their own glory? Or will they crash and burn? Egged on by their peers (of which Steven Merchant forms part of the group), they embark upon the clichéd ‘Voyage of Self-Discovery’ and through drinking, drug-taking and cavorting, naturally land themselves in a heap of mess.

Meanwhile, the wives are left at home to look after the kids and ponder over what their other halves may or may not be getting up to.

The film unfortunately fails to kick into gear as much as I would expect from the Farrelly’s early work. We know they can pull off gross-out, but even the scenes which are meant to shock and leave us open-mouthed just don’t quite work. One is just grotesque and another in the bathroom is really quite vile and not very funny at all.

Owen Wilson does suffer once again by being the lead character. For me he works much better in a supporting role such as he gives in “Night At The Museum” or even “Armageddon” and sometimes you just can’t tear yourself away from looking at the extremeness of his crooked nose more than delving deep into his character.

Jason Sudeikis does well as the backup to Wilson in a role that fits him quite well. He’s gross, unlucky in everything he does and very crude which suits the character perfectly.

But I think the biggest props should go to Jenna Fischer and Christina Applegate in the roles of the long-suffering wives. They both put in great, believable performances and were a joy to watch, much more so than their un-funny male counterparts.

What the movie adds up to is a sentimental flick which not too many true laughs through very forced set pieces that seem to try too hard and suffer as a consequence.

All in all, the Farrellys have not scored the winning goal with this movie, but it could be used as a stepping stone to nailing their Big-Screen Three Stooges remake which is due out in 2012.

Overall rating : 5/10

Posted in Movies | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

The Cineworld Challenge is set!

Wednesday 9th March 2011 17:54 and with one text message, the challenge is set :

Yvonne Crabtree : I challenge you next week to see every film at Cineworld excl ones you have seen. You can have 1 to not see and 1 walk out.

A simple text message from one of my oldest schoolfriends and fellow cinema-fanatic Yvonne, challenging me to 11 days of fun.

The challenge came about due to the fact that I have recently been made redundant from my job and don’t start my new job until Monday 21st. Couple that with the fact that my girlfriend is away on a hen-do in Liverpool all weekend and I have a reason not to vegetate around the house for the next few days.

As stated in the rules, I am allowed one walk-out and one definitely not-see.

So here is the list of movies and times for the challenge :

Battle: Los Angeles
Fri-Thur – 13:00, 15:40, 18:30, 21:10.

Hall Pass
Fri-Thur – 13:30, 16:10, 18:40, 21:10.
Sat & Sun (As above plus…) – 11:00

Fair Game
Fri-Thur – 13:20, 15:50, 18:20, 20:50

Rango
Fri-Thur – 14:30, 17:10, 19:50
Sat & Sun (As above plus…) – 10:20, 11:50

The Adjustment Bureau
Fri-Thur – 14:50, 17:30, 20:00

Unknown
Fri-Thur – 15:00, 17:50, 20:35
Sat & Sun (As above plus…) – 12:00

Paul
Fri-Thur – 13:10 (Not Sat & Sun), 15:30, 18:00, 20:30

Chalet Girl
Wed-Thur – 16:00, 18:10

Lord Of The Dance 3D
Sun & Thur – 13:40, 16:00 (not Sun), 18:20, 20:40 (not Sun)

I Am Number Four
Fri – 13:00, 18:00

Gnomeo & Juliet 3D
Sat – 11:30, 13:50

Yogi Bear 3D
Sat – 12:40

Tangled 3D
Sat – 10:15

As part of the challenge, I don’t need to go see movies which I have already seen or can get on DVD as there are a few shown as part of the Kids’ Club. Therefore I will not be seeing :

The Kings Speech – Already seen twice
West Is West – Already seen
Despicable Me – Kids Club
The Last Airbender – Kids Club
The Tooth Fairy – Already seen & Kids club

Obviously the times above can possibly change, so I will be keeping abreast of any movements and planning accordingly.

I will also write a review of each movie and post it up here as proof that I have done it.

Let the challenge commence…

Posted in Movies | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Leeds United 1-1 Middlesbrough – 01/01/11

New Years Day games are something of a phenomenon. You tend to find that most people who attend these games are in no suitable shape to be out of bed, let alone outdoors watching a match, and with a 1pm kick-off, there really was no time to be suffering from the Delerium Tremens!

Due to my excessive drinking the previous night, my sister offered me a lift to the game, which was nice. Got there in good time and picked up some of Ken Bates’ Curry & Chips to cure the queasiness and unsettled nature of my stomach. They worked a treat. When I got to my seat, we quickly learned that Leeds had signed Andy O’Brien on a 2 & 1/2 year contract…well that should see our Own-Goal count raised over the next couple of seasons…

I then found out I was in the programme! Yup, there I was in a shot from the Forest game earlier this season looking shocked at something on the pitch….it was probably Bradley Johnson to be fair!

As the team lineups were being announced, Scott said to me “That David Wheater is a good player, meant to be going to the Premiership”, information which I didn’t really care about…who was this David Wheater anyway? All I cared about was that we were starting with Andy Hughes……….!

Then the game started…unfortunately. As ever, we kicked off with the usual move, smacking the ball to the left wing…and for the first time I can ever remember, we managed to win the ball and keep possession from it…amazing! The match started in a very sloppy way. A miskick by Jason Steele in the Boro goal led to a chance which couldn’t be converted.

It was Robert Snodgrass who came closest soon after with a Robert Snodgrass volley which finished of a brilliant Leeds move but the ball agonisingly went over the bar.

On 20 minutes, a Boro corner was whipped in, and who should get on the end of it? No, not Andy O’Brien for another own-goal, but David Wheater with a header that eluded Schmeichel and the defender on the line to make it 0-1 to Boro.

Middlesbrough snapped up the defences like the Millenium Falcon flying through an asteroid belt. Leeds struggled from here to get past a solid Boro who were throwing almost everything behind the ball. As soon as Leeds pushed for a chance, they were beaten back by Boro. It was a frustrating day for Becchio who just couldn’t manage to get much of the play.

Down our left-side we had problems too. Andy Hughes who had been brought in at left-back was constantly moving out of position and missing tackles, meaning that Max Gradel had to drop back at every Boro advance and help out his defender. This meant that any breaks we were trying to forge weren’t working as we didn’t have Gradel using his pace down the wing.

Boro had another glorious chance to go two goals up but sent a shot just wide of Kasper’s goal. Just before halftime, Leeds were offered a glimmer of hope when a freekick was given just outside the penalty area. In a move straight from the Thorpe Arch training ground, the ball was eventually given to Bradley Johnson in a central position, and therein lay the fault of the move. The shot went wide.

The second half begun much the same as the first had ended, with the Leeds team looking largely lethargic and looking like a Sunday league team who had all been out on New Years Eve celebrations necking 20 cans of Carlsberg! Just 11 minutes into the second half and Grayson brought on Lloyd Sam and Neil Kilkenny for Gradel and Hughes, pushing Bradley Johnson back to the left-back position. McCormack had a decent effort from a free kick and then it was Lloyd Sam’s turn to come close with a low strike just going the wrong side of the post, although Steele would have had it covered.

Snodgrass took a bit of a battering out on the wing and looked to injury his back and Leeds came close from a Collins header from Kilkenny’s freekick from the foul on Snoddy. With around 75 minutes on the clock, Snodgrass was replaced by Sanchez Watt.

Leeds’ play picked up in the last ten minutes but it was almost too little too late. Watt had a chance on goal as did McCormack.

Due to injuries in the game, the fourth official game word that there was to be five added minutes. Just as it was announced, Boro had an amazing chance to secure the game but a slip in the area meant the chance was missed. The ball broke to Collins and he worked the ball forwards with McCormack. A good header by McCormack was punched clear by Steele straight to Luciano Becchio who smashed a volley straight back into the goal and equalised the game.

A draw and a point would have been a good result in all fairness after our performance, but we nearly did a total turnaround when a beautiful ball was played into the area by Watt to be met by an unmarked McCormack who agonisingly headed it just wide in a situation where it was almost easier to score than miss!

The unbeated run has now stretched to 12 games and hopefully we can go to Cardiff on Tuesday and put in a good performance…before the main event next Saturday when Leeds will be travelling to the nations capital and the Emirates Stadium for the FA Cup clash with Arsenal.

MOT

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

“Ups ‘n’ Downs!” – My 2010

“We’ve been through it all together…and we’ve had our ups and downs…!”

The lyrics to “Leeds, Leeds, Leeds” or “Marching On Together” were none more fitting than in 2010. It was one rollercoaster of a year for many different reasons. From amazing football, to shite football, from relationships gone south, to new loves…here’s my review of 2010.

Football
The year started off in flying form…none-more-so than January 3rd. A day that will be etched into the memories of Leeds United fans the world over. Leeds United had drawn Scum (Manchester United for those of you not well-versed in the vocabulary of the terraces) in the FA Cup at Scum Central Old Trafford. Now, for a big fan, this is the type of game you just don’t miss…it’s also the type of game that if you had been off work for 6 months with a bad back and had no money, you wouldn’t be able to afford. So I ended up sat in my living room with my Mum, Dad, Sister and Granddad watching on TV as Charlotte went to the game on my ticket. I sat clutching my 115/1 bet on Beckford & 1-0 to Leeds on which I had stuck a cheeky £2. The game was amazing. Leeds played fantastically and for a team in League One, we really took the game to them…and in the 19th minute, a long pass from Jonny Howson, a mis-control from Beckford and a slot into the bottom corner proved to be the winner and a nice wedge of money in my pocket. But no amount of cash could make up for missing a game like that!

With the football, the high of beating Scum dropped to the low of having a shite run in the league and almost jeopardised the entire season. I remember being at Charlton and all we had to do was win and we threw the game away leaving it all up to the final game of the season at Elland Road. Bristol Rovers could have caused massive upset at Elland Road, but it wasn’t to be. Max Gradel tried his best to throw the game when he got himself sent off and an early Bristol goal in the second half had all the makings of a miserable day…but step up Jonny Howson to score and then follow that up with a Jermaine Beckford special and madness ensued in the stands. I have never felt jubilation like it. Everyone went absolutely insane. We were on the pitch after the game and everything with the prospect of the Championship to look forward to.

This season in The Championship has proved to be quite successful so far. We’re finishing the year in fourth in the league, which we would have definitely taken at the beginning of the season, and ending 2010 with an 11-game unbeaten run is pretty good, although there have been too many draws in those games for our liking.

2011 is set to bring about a trip to the Emirates to see Arsenal vs Leeds United, another massive game that I will not be going to due to the fact I will be away in Blackpool that weekend! Also, hopefully we will see Leeds climb out of the Championship and back into the Premiership for the 2011/12 season!

Relationships
The ups and downs of relationships had never been more-so than in 2010. Starting off the year in one relationship, finishing in February, then getting with someone else on the bounce who turned out to be a little bit nutty and wanted my kids after being together a month, then that broke off and I started seeing a nurse very briefly but that was going nowhere…then I saw a girl. I saw her, but she didn’t see me. We met in class….Slimming World class. But then when I saw her on a dating site I had signed up to, and we got chatting and got along really well, it was all good. I invited myself down for tea on the evening of Friday 21st May and I have not been back home since! Elle is amazing. We met, we fell in love and thats how the story goes. We’ve already had some great times together and hopefully many more to come in the future. We have so much planned in 2011 from holidays to gigs to shows to days out…I cannot wait!!!

Holidays
Up, Up, and Away. Just the one main holiday in 2010. I went to Salou with Michael from work. I was originally meant to be going with Charlotte, but that fell through so up-stepped Michael. We had a right laugh. Many drunken nights and got to see tonnes of the World Cup whilst we were out there too…laughing mainly at just how back England were!!!

Elle and I also had a couple of jaunts towards the back end of the year with trips to Amsterdam and Bruges….trips I would definitely recommend to anyone…especially on the 2-for-1 deals at the end of the year!!!

2011 has no less than FIVE holidays lined up for me….Blackpool in January, another top secret one at the end of January, Atlanta Georgia for Wrestlemania in March, Ibiza in June and Puerto Rico in Gran Canaria in October…it’s gonna be a grand year!

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

“Unstoppable”…watchable?

Free passes to the cinema are one of life’s little luxuries. Anything free is welcomed in life, but when it’s a trip to the big-screen that’s being offered, I will snap anyone’s hand off for the chance to see the latest release for 0% of the cost. Now, there’s only two things sweeter than a free cinema ticket, and that’s TWO free cinema tickets and the prospect of going to the flicks to see a film that I am actually looking forward to 9 days before release day!

Elle and I jumped on the chance, through http://www.seefilmfirst.com to head over to Cineworld Bradford to watch “Unstoppable”, the new action flick produced & directed by Tony “A-Team” Scott, starring Denzel “iplaythesamecharacterineverymovieiamin” Washington and Chris “ooh look at me playing Captain Kirk” Pine.

The trailer looked amazing and it was a film I was very much going to pay my hard-earned cash to see upon release anyway, but the thought that it may get lost amongst the Potter-Mania that’s about to hit was a worrying one.

The movie-drama is loosely based upon a real runaway-train situation from 2001 when a 47-car locomotive in Ohio ran 66 miles completely unmanned…and here we have the central basis for this story…the runaway train.

Now…forgive me for being a little cynical, but the idea of a runaway train, although appealing at first-glance soon causes some issues. Firstly, the main problem you have with a movie about a runaway train is that you’re always going to be, and please forgive the pun…”on the rails”. As with previous runaway-type action films, such as the much-loved “Speed”, you never really knew what was going to occur because lets face it, a bus can go almost anywhere, but the plight of a loose train is stuck to the tracks and is not going to bring about many surprises. This means that unfortunately, most of the movie’s action can actually be seen by watching the trailer!

Sure, there’s peril, a flimsy two-character back story and the odd “ohshitwhatsgoingtohappennext” moment, but you have to look at a movie like this and wonder whether the end-product was actually worth the $100,000,000 price tag it cost to make. Even more interesting was that news had it that Denzel too a $4million pay-cut from his usual $20million to play in this movie…so where has all the other money gone? Probably just to the state of Pennsylvania to shut down sections of the track for the film to be made.

In essence, the idea is there, it’s fun for the 98 minutes it plays and there’s a couple of tense moments and a spattering of comedy which will keep the casual cinema-goer happy. But the scenario itself does not lend well to all-out action, even if you do throw some Molten Phenol into the mix (yeah we had to have that described to us in the movie too).

Denzel does a good job and Chris Pine is decent enough in the “rookie-conductor” role opposite Washington’s veteran, and it was nice to see Ethan “Earlsbrotherfrommynameisearl” Suplee making a small appearance too. Tony Scott also puts in plenty of shots swinging around the cabin as well as plenty of train-shots to keep even the most anorak of movie-goers happy.

Overall vote for Unstoppable is a generous 6 carriages of fun out of ten.

Wait for the DVD.

Posted in Movies | 1 Comment

Tickets, Tickets, Tickets!

3 months ago, I had tickets for nothing. No upcoming gigs, shows, concerts, events…absolutely bloody nothing. And it upset me. I like to be there when my favourite bands are belting out their new (and old) tunes and I like to be in an arena full of Wrestling fans…

…but three months on and I have tickets for :

McFly (a week last Saturday)
Take That (acquired three days before they went on sale through Elle’s workplace)
Meatloaf (December 2010)
Bon Jovi (June 2011)
Derren Brown (Star Wars Day (May 4th!!!))

…and in just 11 days tickets go on sale for Wrestlemania in Atlanta, Georgia. Yup, once again I will be pond-hopping across to the States to see the “Grand-daddy” of them all at the Georgia Dome. Gonna be forking out $100 for tickets which works out around £65, so that should be half-decent seats…not quite as good as the “splattered with blood, sweat & tears $1,500” front row, but a hell of a lot closer than the “look, there’s an ant convention for $25” nosebleeds!

It is 146 days, 2 hours, 1 minute and 35 seconds until Tuesday, 29 March 2011, 15:00:00 (Flight time)…and counting…

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Leeds 1-2 Leicester – 24/08/10 – Carling Cup Round 2

My first ever game as a Leeds United fan came on October 10th 1990. League Cup Round Two at home to Leicester. A game that we were 1-0 down from in the first leg (yes they had legs back then) and we won 3-0 on the night. Twenty years on and Leicester made the journey to Elland Road on a Tuesday night for another matchup. With the 3-1 win over Millwall still fresh in everyone’s minds…unless you were paintballing on a stag do of course…it was with a curious sense of “should we or shouldn’t we” that we all held going into the second round of the Mickey Mouse Carling Cup. On one hand, a cup run would be great…last year we played Scum, Scouse-scum and Spurscum all in the cup competitions. But would it really matter that much if we lost?

Elle had been to Elland Road earlier in the day to buy a brand new Leeds United Hoodie to wear for all the forthcoming games she would be going to. She also picked up the 2010/11 handbook in which you can clearly see me belting out “Marching On Together”. Surely Leeds couldn’t lose whilst Elle wore the new hoodie at her second Leeds game of the season…

After spending most of the pre-match warm up either admiring the size of Schmeichel’s hands or laughing at the fact THAT Neill Hudgell Law advert was no-longer playing, kickoff arrived. Gradel had been brought in to replace Lloyd Sam after finally serving his suspension from the last game of last season when the pillock went on a rampage which could have only caused more chaos if he had done it with a Kaleshnikov. Davide Somma was handed a start after his two-goal heroics against Millwall ahead of Sanchez Watt. Alex Bruce replaced Naylor in the typical “it’s the cup so lets rest Naylor” kind of way we seem to be doing. Higgs also got the nod in goal.

I had booked my season ticket seat and the one to the right of it for the game…or so I thought…About ten minutes into the game and when the stewards were seating people, it became apparent that I had actually booked tickets for the row in front…oops! It felt odd sitting in different seats!

The opening half of the first half didn’t show too much from either team coming forwards. The best chance came around 30 minutes in when Bruce almost got his first goal for the club with a good header and Gradel had a pop over the bar.

Leeds took the lead following a great Long-Ball from Higgs to Johnson out on the right who laid it off to Gradel to swing a ball in which Somma connected with and put Leeds 1-0 up! 32 minutes in and Somma had his third of the season.

Halftime came and went with some kid winning £100 on the pitch

As the second half began, Leeds came out bright again. Gradel had a good chance after weaving his way through the defence and we had another cleared off the line.

As we entered 66 minutes into the game however, Leeds screwed up…well…more like the Linesman screwed up!!! The ball clearly went out for a throw but the linesman didnt give it and Leicester were able to swing in a cross that was met by Richie Wellens who equalised.

Now we were on the back foot. Bessone, as he had been doing ALL game was wandering off from his position. Bradley Johnson was nowhere to be seen sometimes either so down our Left hand side we were vunerable all game. Leicester pushed harder and harder and forced a good save from Higgs before Somma had another good chance just over the bar.

Then it happened…a ball came across the penalty area and Neill Collins decided to handle the ball…in the area…giving away a penalty in the 88th minute which Howard converted.

All-in-All we fucked up what should have been a win for us and a third-round match in a few week’s time but once again we became our own worst enemies.

Oh the joy of having to go to work to face the Leicester fan in the office…!

Posted in Uncategorized | 3 Comments

Stag-a-Doodle-do!

Missing Leeds United games is never something I like doing. Missing Home games is something I like doing even less. Today, Millwall came to Elland Road on the back of two wins. Leeds of course yet to get 3 points under their belt…and where was I going to be? In the woods in Wakey shooting up with a load of other boys…that’s right…we’re going Paintballing!

I have never been paintballing…ever…but I have seen and heard tales of the near-death experiences that people have gone through at the hands of those pellets of paint…so I was fearing it as much as I was looking forward to it. I met up at Kev’s house with most of our group and off we toddled towards Wakey. Delta Force is just off the M1 towards Denby Dale. We pulled into what looked like army barracks, ready for the day’s fun. After filling out one of those “if you die its your own fault” forms that we all know and love, it was time to get kitted out. First up was the helmet…and I was handed what can only be described as a facemask…no head-guard or throat guard or anything…bollocks to that! I swapped my helmet for a full-headed, yet smaller helmet to squeeze my melon into.

Next up was the body armour…now, bear in mind that shortly, paint pellets are going to be striking your body at around 100mph…and we were given a set of overalls that made us look like seedy Ghostbusters and a “bulletproof” vest that might as well have been a sheet of cling-film for all it was worth!

Much merriment ensued as we all slipped into our gear for the day. Checking out Danny’s incredibly short legs on the outfit and the button-popping look that I was pulling off too!

We decided to buy paint in bulk. I put in with Kev & Layton to buy a £120 box of 2000…surely that would be enough between us…

After a brief about safety, it was time for the first game. We had been split into two teams of seven and were joined by other randomers! I was on Team Black! Our first game was to be the Afgham Command Post! Hell yeah.

The idea was to get a stick of dynamite all the way up the course and into the cabin…easy eh? Well…I was shitting myself. Off we ran into the game zone with paint pellets flying. I covered myself behind a bunker and wellied off a few shots before going behind a tree. There I needed to reload and as I was doing so *BLAM* paint pellet exploding on my shoulder and I was out! As I walked off, I tipped my semi-loaded gun up and out spilt all my paintballs…shit!

I borrowed a few more and ran out of them in the turn-around as we defended pretty damn quick. Then I just had to take a bullet and leave…cue a bullet to my right knee!

250 pellets used in the first two games…I had to be more conservative!

The next game was the Chemical Alley. Big barrells everywhere which were bloody loud when getting hit. I didn’t last too long on both games…but next up was the Haunted Graveyard!

It was a “capture the flag” game in the graveyard and I decided it was Hero Time! I made an early dash to a grave and picked off 3 people with some amazingly long shots. Then I got giddy and made a dash for it…up the right flank I legged it. I could see paint pellets flying past my head, most of them connecting with the marshall as I bombed past him. I almost made it to the flag before taking a shot to the left knee…damn!

We had terrorist attacks where we protected the President and a Bridge defence game before the Big Game in which we had a free-for-all and I peppered Kev with a barrage of skin-twatting bullets.

All-in-all, paintballing was top notch fun. We got in the car afterwards and I found out Leeds had won 3-1 against Millwall in what happened to be the greatest game of football in a long time! Typical!

That night we went to South Leeds Connie Club for a pissup which involved many Jelly Shots and beers and excessive Karaoke and Little Elvis who had to be seen to be believed!!!

We finished the night off at the Stone Roses bar before taxiing home!

Top night

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , | 1 Comment