The programme everyone says they don’t watch, but everyone knows what’s happening is back on Channel 5…Celebrity Big Brother with it’s mix of non-celebs and hit rock-bottom famous faces all battling it out for another shot at superstardom (!).
So who’s in there the this year?
Frankie Dettori : recently shamed through drugs, Frankie is clearly here for one reason, to prove he’s an “alright bloke”. I do quite like Dettori an I think he’s going to be quite entertaining this year in this.
Rylan : Oh dear…as if we haven’t already had enough of Rylan over on the X Factor, up he pops with a few “drop mi aaaht” shouts and over excitedness. Will win!
Paula Hamilton : She was in a car advert once and clearly thinks she’s special. An early contender for being first out!
Tricia Penrose : That busty barmaid from Heartbeat has got…erm…Bustier. Been off the radar longer than a stealth bomber…time will tell…
Ryan Moloney : IT’s TOADIE FROM NEIGHBOURS. That is all!
Gillian Taylforth : Swapping Albert Square for BB, Gillian is in the house ready to prove herself as not just “That cockney bird out of everything cockey”
Lacey Banghard : She’s blonde, she’s a page 3 model, she’s called Bang Hard…is there really anything more to say here? Will be old comedy value methinks.
Sam Robertson : that lad who was in Corrie for a bit and was a bit of a poor actor. Joys! One for the teenage girl vote. Will stay in until final unless he’s a prick…in which case he’ll probably win!
Claire Richards : Never mind Steps, she needs a step machine. After letting herself go a bit, Claire could do with being out in the basement with basic rations…but she’s not, she’s up with the luxury.
Razor Ruddock : A last minute replacement for Jim Davidson following his arrest, I think Razor is definitely going to be this year’s comic relief. He’ll tell it how it is, which could prove to be messy!
Heidi & Spencer : some gimps from some gimpy US TV show, these guys seriously love themselves…especially him! In reality, he’s a cock and will no doubt be exposed by a more realistic view of their lives than the scripted rubbish that is The Hills.
All said and done, it’s not a bad lineup. I think Rylan, Sam, Toady and Tricia will be there until the end, barring any craziness.
And the twist this year is that half the contestants are starting off in the house and half are starting in a creepy Saw-like Basement room. Rylan and Frankie had to choose between each pair who were entering the house and decide who went up and who went down.
Firstly, down went Paula Hamilton, quickly followed by ALL the men and Heidi from The Hills.
All the women stayed in luxury, soon to be joined by Rylan and Frankie.
Hopefully BB will be proper evil on everyone this year…watching them suffer is always funnier and much better TV!