This is Turtles as you’ve never seen them before…they’ve been “Bay’d”

Yup, Michael Bay has got his hands on those heroes in a half-shell (Turtle power!) and produced another action-packed adventure.

There is plenty of action for those who want to see masses of CG fighting and a slow slide down a mountain that literally lasts for twenty minutes!

Michael Bay also uses his trademark robot sound effects (Phut Phut, drumm, drumm) here too…wait…what? Robots in a Turtles film? Well, for some extremely inexplicable reason, Shredder’s armour has been upgraded and now we have the latest Transformer…Michael Bay really is a sell-out to his own product!

So there’s the Turtles….they’re pretty much as you would expect. Wisecracking, loving pizza, being a bit clumsy etc.

…but then there’s April O’Neil (played by Megan Fox)….the reporter who finds the Turtles and helps them attempt to take down Shredder…

So here’s Megan Fox’s “I’m a roving reporter tryin to get the best story I can” face :

…and here’s Megan Fox’s “I’ve just stumbled upon the biggest story of my life” face :

…and here’s her “oh my god I’m getting shot at” face :

…and her “oh look there’s 6ft ninja turtles stood in front of me” face :

…as you can see..acting at it’s absolute finest there…in fact I reckon even I could have played April O’Neil :

In fact, there’s actually more shots of her arse in the film that there are of her face…but that’s not just for all the perverts out there…it’s just that her arse can probably act better than her face can!

One quality mistake in the film too…she starts taking photos on her phone of a symbol she finds…yet you can clearly see her miserable pouty face on the screen instead of what she is meant to be taking a photo of! Selfie-fail!

All-in-all, it’s not a terrible movie…but I am please I only paid £2 to see it and didn’t pay full whack!

If you’ve got kids, they will love it. There’s enough to keep adults entertained too, but maybe only through a sense of nostalgia rather than actually being engrossed in the film